Wherever you go, there you are.
I met my shadow self again in the most unlikely of places. A triangle of deep grey luxurious bamboo lycra.
'What, what, now?... ' You say.
For me it's more, “Ack!” a la Bill the Cat!
The lovely Couture Designer, Genevieve, instructs us on the first day of a 5 weekend workshop to create our own garment.
Her prompts include--”hold the fabric,
go with the flow,
feel the bias,
feel the energy—f l o w with it...”
Sounds simple enough.
But, after my 1st pin is secured in the mannequin, I find I am on a frozen ice jam more than the relaxed river of silk I imagined. The fabric tangles in my fingers as my mind tangles competing thoughts.
First I willfully force the direction and the shape of material- -the fabric resists.
It's an epic power struggle already.
And there I am, observing myself mocked by this unassuming triangle of cloth.
The deceptive simplicity of this act, draping fabric, allows me the clarity to see the four deadly horsemen of my inner apocalypse.
Clinging, controlling, comparing and complicating everything!
Suddenly, a new fifth horseman gallops towards the posse-- self criticism.
Perhaps you have encountered such bandits yourself?
The antidote to their poisoning effect?
Chill. Relax. Flow. Allow. Yield. Trust thyself.
Effort without tension.
(This time, side step the dung left by the horsemen.)
When I do relax, forget my agenda and let my limbs and instincts weave together with the sensual flow of fabric (rather than my signature overthinking) the fabric and I both soften, like intimate dance partners and begin to trust one another. Together we begin to mold a dress form.
The sun is out and glints even brighter against the mirror of my inner reflections. Humbling lessons can step on our well shod feet in the most surprising encounters. Observing oneself in our own learning curves illuminates our deeply help patterns—unless we are able to hold beginners mind, without ego.
Not generally my strength.
Once I allowed the process, the process allowed for my inner flow and easily dissolved all the clinging and controlling into a refreshing drink of creativity; and time flew.
To visit the sublime couture designs of Ms. Genevieve herself,
visit her website at: http://www.genevievegrahamclothing.com/ A revelation in hand sewn originals.
So many paths to brilliance.
Undim your light.